Friday Fictioneers 100 Word Flash Fiction Challenge: Exposed


(c) B W Beacham

(c) B W Beacham 2014

Every Friday authors worldwide gather around the virtual fireside of Rochelle Wisoff and share stories of 100 words, prompted by a common photograph, and exchange constructive criticism. Readers’ comments are also welcome.

I’m coming in this week under the 100 word limit. Will I be jettisoned, like an unwanted shopping trolley?

Exposed

They finished their cigarettes in silence, ground them underfoot and strolled off towards the car park. The stubs, still smoking, danced a cheery reel around their heels for a short while, uplifted by a merry breeze, then tumbled from the bridge into the water.
“… all that dumped junk!”
“Scandalous.”
“Stole the shopping trolley, then …”
“… couldn’t be bothered to take it back to the supermarket …”
“And just look at all the other stuff!”
“Mindless.”
“Spoilt the view.”

(c) Ann Isik 2014
78 words

About AnnIsikArts

Artist/Writer, Proofreader/Copy Editor
This entry was posted in Dialogue, Ecology, Short Story Writing, spirituality, The Countryside Code, Walking, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

22 Responses to Friday Fictioneers 100 Word Flash Fiction Challenge: Exposed

  1. How is it? the pot calling the kettle back..

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  2. Ann, Well-written. 🙂 Many people can’t seem to see their own faults. I saw someone throw paper on the ground in the U.S. Smokey Mts. National Park where they used to fine $50 (it may be more now) for littering. It never fails to amaze me. Especially when there are trash bins nearby. 😦 Good story.

    Susan

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    • AnnIsikArts says:

      A very late ‘thank you’ for your comment! I am also perpetually amazed by people who go out to ‘the countryside’ to admire it and yet leave their trash behind them … 🙂

      Like

  3. Ann, you hit on one of my pet peeves–people who toss out cigarette butts or empty ashtrays in parking lots. When our girls were little, they asked me why people littered and the only answer I could come up with is that they either didn’t care or they were lazy (or both.) I still don’t understand littering from my advanced age and wisdom. 🙂

    janet

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    • AnnIsikArts says:

      This is a very late response, but thanks for reading. I get irritated with smokers too, especially the ones who sling their ‘fags’ over their shoulders, still lit, when they’ve finished, and I happen to be behind them. Grrrh! Ann

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      • Ooooo, that makes me furious just reading it. Thankfully I’ve never been behind someone so inconsiderate, but the dumping of butts and ashes is more than enough aggravation.

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  4. Luckily there wasn’t any standing oil for the cigs to ignite! Carelessness often has a nasty outcome.

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  5. Shandra says:

    Excellent commentary on the all too True state of our society. Nicely done.

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  6. Perfect commentary on the all too True. Nicely done in few words.

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  7. draliman says:

    Brilliant! You’ve captured these people’s attitude so well. It’s amazing how so many people don’t consider cigarette butts to be litter.

    Like

    • AnnIsikArts says:

      I like that in the UK they are ‘stubs’ and in the US they are ‘butts’. Yes, it seems to be a blind spot. I have a bee in my bonnet about smokers who just toss their still-lit ciggies away and it ends up on my jacket or something. Grrrh! In the story it’s an example of how we complain about other people’s shortfalls while blind to our own! Thanks for reading.

      Like

  8. Sandra says:

    It’s always somebody else’s fault. I loved the imagery of the cigarette stubs – well observed. Good luck with your boat-work. 😉

    Like

  9. Sun says:

    how blind we are sometimes…of course it’s always easier to see the faults of others. i mean it’s so clear, right? great story, Ann.

    Like

  10. Dear Anne,

    Brevity is the soul of wit. You didn’t need 100 words to get the point across which you did well. You won’t be jettisoned. Now if you’d gone over…

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  11. Alice Audrey says:

    You have really good eyes to pick out the shopping cart. And yeah, it’s a travesty, right down to the cigarette butts.

    Like

    • AnnIsikArts says:

      There’s an ancient walk near me called the Anglo-Saxon Way and a stretch of water has similar trolleys and other stuff dumped and all is visible at low tide. The trolleys will have drifted down from wherever they were dumped. I don’t get walkers who leave their rubbish behind, though. And it makes me see red!

      Like

  12. subroto says:

    I think it was Mark Twain who said that nothing so needs reforming as other people’s habits. 🙂

    Like

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