Boardwalk
(c) Adam Ickes
Every Friday authors worldwide gather around the virtual fireside of Rochelle Wisoff and share stories of 100 words, prompted by a common photograph, and exchange constructive criticism. Readers’ comments are also welcome. This week’s photo has been provided by Adam Ickes.
Thank you Adam.
Here’s the story Adam’s photo inspired.
The Blue’n Orange Persuasion of the Green Witch
“Who’s down the end of the boardwalk, Granpa?”
“What d’you see, son?”
“Little girl, white dress; cradling …”
“ … alligator. That be Bee, boy.”
“Bee?”
“Essie Bee.”
“There’s a black girl there now, Granpa.”
“Cropped hair? Bonifay. Wanders the swamp.”
“It’s an old woman.”
“Black dress, straw hat?”
I nodded, squinting up at him.
“Those three be manfesashuns o t’Green Witch. Lookin’ t’carry away boys t’torture’n eat. Her persuasion’s the blue’n orange morelty.”
I remember Granpa’s face in silhouette, shielding me from the sun, the Manfesashuns and the Blue n’Orange Morality. From that day I stuck to the black’n white.
(c) Ann Isik
100 Words
I’m not from the Gulf States, but it seems to me that your dialogue is spot-on (if I’m reading the setting correctly), and that’s hard to pull off successfully. Plus, offering a compelling story in a “century” of words! I love the folk tale/supernatural aspect, too. All in all, a great read (and thanks for stopping by and reading my Friday Fictioneers post; I have a feeling our setting locations might be similar on this one)!
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I’m not from the Gulf States, but it seems to me that your dialogue is spot-on (if I’m reading the setting correctly), and that’s hard to pull off successfully. Plus, offering a compelling story in a “century” of words! I love the folk tale/supernatural aspect, too. All in all, a great read (and thanks for stopping by and reading my Friday Fictioneers post; I have a feeling our setting locations are similar)!
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I’m not from the Gulf States, but it seems to me that your dialogue is spot-on (if I’m reading the setting correctly), and that’s hard to pull off successfully. Plus, offering a compelling story in a “century” of words! I love the folk tale/supernatural aspect, too. All in all, a great read (and thanks for stopping by and reading my Friday Fictioneers post; I have a feeling our setting locations are similar)!
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I just made up the ‘dialect’. I’m from and live in the UK, though I’ve lived in various places around the world. I ‘hear’ this as a US dialect. It’s probably a kind of ‘generic’ US ‘country’ accent I’ve picked up from hanging out with US folks one way or another over the years!
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Cool title.
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Thanks Dawn.
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Good regional dialect and dialogue. This is an interesting story. Well done.
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Thank you. Ann
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Good story and eerie! Thanks, Nan
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Thanks for reading!
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i agree with janet, the voice was indeed very believable 🙂
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Thank you! The sort of writer you are, you might be interested in my source for the blue n’orange thing: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BlueAndOrangeMorality
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Sticking to the “black’n white” seems prudent here.
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Maybe, but all colours have their dangers!
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Very colorful, Ann, although I think I would stick to the black and white too. That would be so creepy to see a witch at the end of this!
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Thanks Amy. You son is a very talented story teller. I can see where he got that talent from.
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Oh, you’re sweet. Thanks, Ann.
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Now ‘sweet’ is something I am rarely called. 🙂
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“Those three be manfesashuns o t’Green Witch. Lookin’ t’carry away boys t’torture’n eat. Her persuasion’s the blue’n orange morelty.”Simply loved this line-what an impression the grandpa must have made on the lil boy’s psyche that he stuck to only black & white from then on:-)Lovely writing Ann.
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Thanks very much! Loved your inky creatures too.
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🙂
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Dear Ann,
Sometimes life is black and white, isn’t it? Lovely dialogue.
It looks to me like you’ve gotten your link problems ironed out. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks Rochelle. I came across the blue and orange morality when researching for the story. Of interest to writers, perhaps. Here’s a link. http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BlueAndOrangeMorality
I like the diagram where blue and orange = bacon and necktie. 🙂
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No going there for sure. Black and white can be interesting enough without bringing dubious colours into things.
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The blue and orange morality thing is something I found when researching for this little tale. It is quite an interesting construct for writers. I’ll blog about it I think. Black and white has its dangers. I think I’ll try for a multi-coloured morality and hope I don’t end up cheerfully evil. 🙂
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And if you did it would probably be not so bad! Burst of laughter from this reader at the bottom end of Africa. Well done!!
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🙂
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A scary place but the Grandfather seems to be a protector.
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Thanks Sarah. It’s what I meant. I seem to do a lot of stories where Grandad figures as the mentor/guide. My own was the only stable relationship of my childhood, so it’s not difficult to figure where this relationship stems from. Life’s a scary place! Thanks for reading. Ann
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Ann, your link is to an edit, not to your post. You may want to re-post and have Rochelle remove the current link. Your story has a very believable voice.
janet
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Thanks, Janet.
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I accidentally ended up here again, Ann, and was reminded that I wanted to say this title brought to mind the old song, “Crystal Blue Persuasion.” 🙂
janet
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Thank you. I was singing along to this last night. 🙂
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