I’ve written already about why my word for 2014 is Mindfulness and that one of the tools I’d be using for this would be to start journaling again on a daily basis, something I’d let drop in 2013, with, I believed, disastrous results. So I’ve been doing my Morning Pages (á la Julia Cameron’s creativity recovery course The Artist’s Way).
I also decided to do Evening Pages (my term) as I felt it would be a good idea to list, at least, what I wanted and needed to do the following day.
Evening Pages has been hitty-missy, but the first time I did this, I had a revelation. I realised that I was going to bed every night unconsciously disappointed in myself, frustrated, irritated – in varying degrees – about what I’d failed to achieve, creatively, during that day.
It was a shock to see how regularly and routinely I was self-destructing in this way, And it is self-destructive, because when I spotted this phenomenon, I made myself list everything I’d done that day. I was stricken with awe for myself! (Well, not quite). I was astonished at everything I had done. And everything was about what I had to do in order to get to my art and writing, to get to my creativity. So now I am doing my list as often as I do my Evening Pages and acknowledging ‘chores done’ as achievements and applauding myself. Of course, I need to make adjustments – daily – to get the right balance, but without the list, I will never be able to gauge what needs adjusted, added or dumped.
My insomnia has improved.
Do you go to bed every night unconsciously (or consciously) discontented with your achievements? I recommend you try Evening Pages. Do you already do them? Any tips for me?
My next Mindfulness post will be entitled House of Cards.