Friday Fictioneers 100-Word Story Challenge: Kiss an Angel Good Morning


Friday Fictioneers Flash Fiction Photo Prompt Dismantled Keyboard 25 October 2013 by Rochelle WisoffEvery Friday authors from around the world gather around the virtual fireside of fellow WordPress blogger Rochelle Wisoff to share flash fiction stories of 100 words, all inspired by a common photograph. This week’s photo has been provided by … (drum roll) …  Rochelle Wisoff!  Thanks, Rochelle.

In celebration of the resurrection of the dust-covered manuscript of my novel, Flint & Feather – and this due largely to the confidence I’ve gained in my writing through participating in Friday Fictioneers – I’ve come up with some humour this week. Well, I think it’s supernaturally funny. What do you think?

There’s some music below the story to read along with: Charley Pride’s Kiss An Angel Good Morning.  Enjoy!

Kiss an Angel Good Morning

“Connie, darlin’! I’m just a hunka burning love for you this mornin’.”
“… sure about hunk, Stevie?”
“… always joshing.”
“… new keyboard’s arrived. Oops! … ring back?”
“Oops?”
“Thing’s just switched itself on.”
“It can do that?”
“It’s playing a tune.” Pre-programmed freebies, she supposed – at first. She picked up the phone; after – trembling – her car keys.
“Darlin’! … love slave calling back … ”
“Stephen.”
“Okay, sexy?”
“… about to be.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning I’m outside 4 Privet Drive. It’s not Harry Potter’s aunt’s boiler you’re fixing, is it, Stephen?”
Back home, just about to introduce plug to socket, the keyboard began to play.

♪♪ Your cheatin’ heart … ♪♪

Ann Isik
100 Words

About AnnIsikArts

Artist/Writer, Proofreader/Copy Editor
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29 Responses to Friday Fictioneers 100-Word Story Challenge: Kiss an Angel Good Morning

  1. rgayer55 says:

    Dear Ann,
    I must confess I got lost too. I figured out there was some hanky-panky going on and that the instrument was “keying” her in, but at times I got confused as to who was speaking–Connie, Steve, or the instrument.

    Like

  2. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear Ann,

    Kudos to Sandra for saying what I felt upon reading this. I love the rhythm and pace and verve of the conversation and feel you were very close to a perfect story. Devil’s in the details, though, and the payoff wasn’t all that it could have been. You covered a lot of ground here and I admire your attempt at such breadth and depth. Perhaps sacrificing a bit of conversation for clarity would firm it up.

    I think you have received a gift of great price from Sandra and was pleased to see you accept it in the spirit it was surely intended.

    I’d love to read this piece re-jiggered sometime. Let me know what you think.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    Like

    • annisik51 says:

      Thanks Doug. Your honesty is much appreciated. I can’t figure out exactly why this is confusing folks (4 so far) so I’ll have to ponder and wonder. I do seem to rely on dialogue a lot, which is ironic since I dumped my novel precisely because I couldn’t get my characters to talk to each other. (They have recently decided to open up and because I’m writing so much dialogue with FF)! Balance is out. Ann

      Like

      • dmmacilroy says:

        Dear Ann,

        Sometimes we ‘see’ what we are writing but don’t quite get it across to our readers. I am certainly guilty of it. I often want to type YKWIM (you know what I mean) into the middle of more difficult passages. In the end I think that you should let it percolate for a day, see what others have to say and revisit the tale with your muses in tow. I will do the same. It is late here in Hawaii and I may just be addlepated.

        I want you to know that your open acceptance of ‘criticism’ and your willingness to listen as others chime in with their thoughts on your ‘baby’ is the hallmark of a good writer. I hope you never lose that attribute for it is the main reason I have climbed out on this limb to share my thoughts with you.

        Talk to you again when I’ve re-read your story in 10 hours.

        Aloha,

        Doug

        Like

      • annisik51 says:

        The exchange of honest – and dare I say it, loving – criticism is the reason for participating. Your thoughts are gold dust to me Doug! Climb out on the limb as often as you want. You won’t sandbag me off mine I know and I won’t sandbag you off yours! Sleep tight!

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  3. Dear Ann,

    I think something supernatural is happening but I’m really not sure what. Even with the names inserted I’m still confused. I did get the impression the keyboard has a mind of its own. (I had a scanner like that once.)

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    • annisik51 says:

      I thought all machines had minds of their own! Mine have. My best friend’s dishwasher broke down on Wednesday. I found out Thursday morning, came home and found mine had followed suit!

      I’ll have to go back to the drawing board with this story as I’ve confused 3 people so far and that’s a quorum as far as I’m concerned.

      Like

  4. Sandra says:

    That’s made it a bit clearer, I’d thought she was ringing him back. So the supernatural keyboard grassed him up?

    Like

  5. AnElephant is either smart (unlikely) or immensely dense.
    He read it that the keyboard told Connie that Stevie was up to no good.
    And he thought the story creative and entertaining.

    Like

  6. Sandra says:

    I’ve decided to be honest and say I’ve truly no idea what’s going on here. I could just say ‘great piece – well done’, but the fact is I’m curious. It sounds totally tantalising. Part of the problem was that I had a problem knowing who was who with the dialogue, and I tried to piece it together by linking alternate lines but I’m no wiser. So are you going to put me out of my misery Ann? 😉 (And please don’t be offended or I won’t feel able to deploy my candid streak again.)

    Like

    • annisik51 says:

      Thanks, Sandra. No, if you don’t get it, it’s my fault. I’ve introduced the names of the characters into the dialogue early on. That should help. The quotes should indicate who’s speaking after that. (Hopefully). Let me know. And thanks for reading. Ann

      Like

  7. Good one Ann, enjoyed it. Great old song as well.

    Like

  8. Very mysterious. I’m wondering which one is cheating. 🙂

    janet

    Like

  9. I’m going to have to say that I found the back and forth confusing. I had to re-read it a couple of times in order to follow it. That’s my constructive criticism for the day, which I wouldn’t have bothered to give if I hadn’t read your other work and think you’re an excellent writer. So there you have it, then.

    Like

  10. JackieP says:

    I love a good haunting. 🙂

    Like

    • annisik51 says:

      Me too, as long as it’s somebody else being haunted. My story was actually based on something that happened to me, but with TV set not keyboard. No, don’t think ‘Poltergeist’! Ann

      Like

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