Friday Fictioneers 100 Word Challenge: Evensong


Friday Fictioneers  Photo Prompt for 18 October 2013 by Janet M WebbEvery Friday authors from around the world gather about the virtual fireside of fellow WordPress blogger Rochelle Wisoff to share flash fiction stories of 100 words, all inspired by a common photograph, and exchange constructive criticism. Readers’ comments are also welcome. This week’s photo has been provided by writer and intrepid bargee, Janet M Webb. Thanks, Janet. Here’s the story that Sandra’s photo drew from me:

Evensong

“How crimson the bud-tips on that young apple.”

“There’s all sorts of new growth in the woods, Eve.”

“Don’t we have a lovely glen, Adam? Look at that pool, it’s molten gold.”

“Better get back,  …house needs a ton o’ work. And no tools, ‘less I find some abandoned ones.”

“Let’s gather wood; we need a fire for the soup.”

“Straight after Evensong.”

They joined the others standing hand-in-hand on the riverbank.  They silently contemplated the three shopping trolleys,while the birds sang. After a short while they embraced, then dispersed, to continue the work.

Ann Isik
100 words

About AnnIsikArts

Artist/Writer, Proofreader/Copy Editor
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30 Responses to Friday Fictioneers 100 Word Challenge: Evensong

  1. vbholmes says:

    Have to ask–what happens when the apple ripens? Good story of new beginnings.

    Like

  2. kz says:

    a fresh start for the world (and for evil too) a unique tale with lovely language 🙂

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  3. Pingback: Friday Fictioneers: Off His Trolley | A Mixed Bag

  4. Love your blending of history, fantasy, and sci-fi… seamless and poetic, while telling a good story, as well. Very atmospheric, Ann. Love this.

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  5. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear Ann,

    Your words evoked a new world rising and the flood waters receding. Very good use of language in this piece. I imagined a new Eden and a fresh start. The snake is out there somewhere, isn’t it? Peaceful and thoughtful. Loved your title, too.

    Aloha,

    Doug

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  6. Dear Ann,

    A different take on the prompt. Sounds like a colony starting over. Loved the surprise of finding they weren’t THAT Adam and Eve. Nicely done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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  7. Sandra says:

    You always manage to come up with something different Ann, and this week is no exception. Very well done.

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  8. A new world/Eden after the apocalypse? Despite that, it has a lovely, peaceful feel to it.

    janet

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  9. Dee says:

    I love the dialogue and after second reading, got that the new home Adam and Eve were building was a new Eden – sorry but it is late here in the UK.
    Well done, very enjoyable
    Dee

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    • annisik51 says:

      Thanks Dee. I’m in the UK. SE England. And I’m burning late night oil too (but a day later than you). These shopping trolleys have triggered a wide variety of stories. I envy you your long Welsh beach walks.

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  10. You put me in a kind of trance with this one, Ann. I love the description of them holding hands along the riverbank among the trolleys and birds. Mine isn’t so peaceful. I loved your take on this.

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    • annisik51 says:

      I hope the trance has worn off. 🙂 Thanks for your kind comments. The setting is meant to represent a new Eden. Is it so peaceful? I wonder. Adam and Eve and a baby apple tree? 🙂

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      • Is it not peaceful. Maybe I need to reread? I still thought of it as such…maybe now that the trance has worn, I will revisit it! It’s something about the word “riverbank.” That does it for me every time!

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  11. Absolutely love this.
    Great story, great dialogue, great wrap-up.
    (Tiny pedantic point, sorry, but birds sung should be birds sang.)
    In no way lessens your tale.

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    • annisik51 says:

      How embarrassing for a proofreader. Of course, it is ‘sang’. I’m getting my singing mixed up: birdsong, evensong, sang is the past tense of ‘to sing’ and sung is the past participle: i.e. have sung. (And as a singer, I use the verb on a daily basis)! Groan! Thanks for pointing it out. Thanks for reading. Ann

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  12. Jim Kane says:

    Oops, I had mentioned to someone else in a reply about going to Bay St Louis, Mississippi in the summer of 2007 and doing a Habitat build. The devastation, almost two years after the eye of Katrina went through, was something else. The prompt brought those images back to my conscious thought.

    Jim

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  13. Jim Kane says:

    Wonderful! The stream of unspoken yet evident faith, “Let’s gather wood; we need a fire for the soup.” “Straight after Evensong.”, stood out to me.
    Thank you!
    Jim

    Like

  14. I maintain that you have a glorious grasp of language. Just your sentence construction gives me goosebumps. This was wonderful.

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