(c) Roger Bultot
Every Friday authors from around the world gather around the virtual fireside of fellow WordPress blogger Rochelle Wisoff to share flash fiction stories of 100 words, all inspired – regardless of genre – by a common photograph, and exchange constructive criticism. Readers’ comments are also welcome.
This week’s photo has been provided by Roger Bultot. Here’s the story Rob’s photo inspired:
A Face Like An Angel
“Not a breath of wind … “
Why don’t they hear me?
“Root rot …”
Hey!
“Plants get root rot, not trees …”
Surely they can hear me yelling?
“I hear the ambulance.”
Hello! Help!
“He’s breathing, just.”
I can’t breathe.
“So young. Angelic face.”
Can’t see.
“… never see what’s coming, do you?”
Bright light.
“There’s a handbag on the passenger seat.”
I have to move towards the light.
“… definitely nobody else in the car.”
It doesn’t hurt anymore.
“… looks like an angel.”
They’re opening the boot.
“…a sleeping angel.”
Odd, looking down at myself.
“Oh, God!”
(c) Ann Isik
100 Words
P.S. For US readers: for the word ‘boot’ above, substitute ‘trunk’.
I’m confused. Is the “he” the tree?
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No, the ‘he’ is the angelic looking injured young man in the car that’s been hit by the tree. Sorry to have confused you, but thanks for reading and commenting. Ann
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Dear Ann,
I’ll admit to having to read this twice to get it. I’m assuming there was a body in the trunk? And thanks for the English lesson/ 😉 I love the differences in this common language that separates us.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks for botherng to read it twice! Sorry! The differences in our common language sometimes get me into trouble. Recently, I got my ears severely boxed for using the word ‘kindly’ in a request for information. I was told in no uncertain terms that it was considered very sarcastic by US persons to use this word in sentences like: “Would you kindly tell me …?” I thought I was being nice and polite! 🙂
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Yeah, quite disturbing, and confusing (in a good way). Nice job.
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Thanks Ben.
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Nicely told story, Ann. Just a little late to save Angel, but I sense it was Angel’s destiny to leave this earth.
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Thanks for reading and commenting. Though I sincerely hope it’s nobody’s ‘destiny’ to be hurt and stuffed in the boot/trunk of a car. But who knows? I’m pleased my character will get his come-uppance and has not ‘escaped’ his crime by dying! Ann
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I loved the technique–very effective. Although, I thought angelic would have worked better with a female character. Overall, a beautiful flash.
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Thanks, Russell. Yes, I agree it’s a bit confusing, in 100 words – the angelic face thing. Even though there are no ‘female’ angels, bibically-speaking, ‘angelic’ has come to be used to refer to the feminine sex. I wanted to make a point that an ‘angelic’ i.e. beautiful face can be a mask for evil.
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Subtle but effective ending. Good contrast between what was happening externally and his last thoughts. (Was there a body or a kidnap victim in the boot?)
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You got it! Thanks for reading and commenting.
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Very good; an unnerving twist at the end there. Well done.
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Thanks a lot, Sandra.
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Ooooh…at first I thought it was the POV of the tree. Then they opened the boot. I guess the young man in the front seat wasn’t such an angel after all. Very effective (and effectively creepy).
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I worried I was being too obscure, but you got it! Thanks for reading.
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Interesting stuff.
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Thanks for reading Tony. I will be certain to stop by for coffee when in your area. 🙂
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Well done Ann one does wonder the moment of death. I love the irony of the final sentence.
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The irony is accidental, but apt. 🙂
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interesting perspective
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Thanks for reading.
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