(c) Renee Heath
Every Friday authors from around the world gather around the virtual fireside of fellow WordPress blogger Rochelle Wisoff to share flash fiction stories of 100 words, all inspired – regardless of genre – by a common photograph, and exchange constructive criticism. Readers’ comments are also welcome.
This week’s photo prompt comes from Renee Heath. Thanks Renee. Here’s the story the photo inspired:
In a Moment
Don’t Walk! A woman in green slams on her brakes. A girl dashes into her future. The gossamer disc of her skirt swirls. A shadow ruddies the sun. The red of the hydrant deepens. The blushing brick of the Bidwell dulls. The lush wink of the Boost’s logo turns bright as blood. The gleeful balloons of the street lamps pirouette, freed to pursue the gossamer circle as it gushes, shape-shifting, into crimson-winged and feathered air. Up and up goes the gossamer, colour-shifting like light through glass, stained; and diminishes, then vanishes.
(c) Ann Isik 2013
100 words
Related Articles:
- Summer Solstice (mezzojan.wordpress.com)
Dear Ann,
You’ve painted a vivid picture of the street scene. I dare say that I could see it without the photo. One issue. Gossamer appears three times in your 100 words. For me this slows things down a bit and detracts from the story as a whole.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks for the comment. I have read that if you want to emphasise something, you can do this by repeating a word three times. Not twice, apparently, or more than 3 times! However, I’m not aware I wanted to emphasise ‘gossamer’ 3 times in this story. I will consult with my subconscious immediately.
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What a vivid word picture! Makes death someone seem not as terrible. Very well written!
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Thank you Perry for reading and comment. Strangely, it is the third of three similar images I’ve had come to me to ‘be written down’ in a row. It is also a ‘non-death’ image.
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Very lush and poignant description…I ‘m imagining it as the aftermath of the incident in “Summer Solstice.” Thank you for the link!
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I love photos like this one, frozen fragments of stories. They appeal to the voyeur in me!
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You have captured this fleeting moment beautifully!
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Thanks for reading. Ann
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