Friday Fictioneers 100-Word Story Challenge: Patterns


Goats and Graves:  (c) Randy Mazie

Goats and Graves: (c) Randy Mazie

Every Friday authors from around the world gather around the virtual fireside of fellow WordPress blogger Rochelle Wisoff to share flash fiction stories of 100 words, all inspired – regardless of genre – by a common photograph, and exchange constructive criticism. Readers’ comments are also welcome.


Patterns

“See that bird making feet patterns in the mudflats?”

“Yes, Granda.”

“You’re making patterns too.”

John looked down. “Can’t see any patterns.”

“Everywhere we go. Invisible, mostly.” He took out a photo.“What d’you see?”

“Goat. Big stone.”

“Gravestone. Marks where somebody’s buried.  When you die, you stop making patterns. Feet patterns are stories about where feet’ve been. That goat, bird, their patterns tell you where they went to get food to care for their families. Creatures are for caring.”

“What are people for, Granda?”

“Same thing.”

“So people and creatures are the same.”

“No. Creatures don’t know they’re making patterns. People do.”

“Why?”

“Creatures got instinct; humans, choice.”

“What’s choice?”

“You choose what patterns you make with your feet.”

“So I can do what I like.”

“No, John.”

(c) Ann Isik 2013
128 words

I couldn’t make the 100 words this week. Difficult story to write. 128 words is the best I could do.

  • Grave (journalread.wordpress.com)

About AnnIsikArts

Artist/Writer, Proofreader/Copy Editor
This entry was posted in Dialogue, Short Story Writing, spirituality, Writing and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

29 Responses to Friday Fictioneers 100-Word Story Challenge: Patterns

  1. Sorry for being late. but this story was simply stunning 🙂

    Like

    • annisik51 says:

      Oh, wow! Thank you so much! Of course, I don’t think so, but I do feel I’m improving. Wrote a complete 1st draft of a regular-sized short story last week in under 8 hours. First for me.

      Like

  2. I so enjoyed your story, Ann. Glad I found it. Hope my comments don’t end up in your spam box! Polly

    Like

  3. marymtf says:

    Love your story, Ann. You know, the extra 28 words add to the flavour of this story. My editor’s eye hovers, but I just can’t pick a single word to leave out.

    Like

  4. A wonderful piece and take on life. There’s a lot here, so screw the 100 word limit. I often do that when I think the story will be too clipped if I adhere to it, and it’s the same here. Very interestingl

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  5. Sandra says:

    Quite parable-like in its simplicity. Very well done.

    Like

  6. Ann, I think this is one of your best stories.

    janet

    Like

  7. Simply beautiful. Very thoughtful.

    Like

    • annisik51 says:

      How kind! I don’t feel I quite got the concept across and will develop this one. Sometimes 100 words IS not enough! I looked for your story but couldn’t find it. I hope your dog Zoey is recovering well. And you are too from your horrible week. Ann

      Like

  8. Excellent take on the prompt. I loved the ending.

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  9. I love Granda’s patient explanations and the way John sums it all up as “I can do what I like!” Typical small child – but when he’s older, he’ll remember and understand, I think.

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  10. Sarah Ann says:

    Lovely conversation and a lovely philosophy granda is trying to impart. Hopefully John’ll get there in the end.

    Like

  11. petrujviljoen says:

    Stunning story! Well done.

    Like

  12. Dear Ann,

    One word comes to mind, “Amen.”

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  13. N Filbert says:

    excellent take

    Like

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