(c) John Nixon
Every Friday authors from around the world gather around the virtual fireside of fellow WordPress blogger Rochelle Wisoff to share flash fiction stories of 100 words, all inspired – regardless of genre – by a common photograph, and exchange constructive criticism. Readers’ comments are also welcome.This week’s photo has been provided by John Nixon.
Here’s my story, prompted by John’s photo. Thanks John.
The Ostrich
“Some pros don’t know to quit.”
“That’s one hell of a tune.”
“Claimed an Austin. And that he’s going for an Ostrich!”
“Nobody ever did it. He can only get one on a par 7 – if he holes this shot. More likely shooting his temperature!”
“My butt’s stinging already on account of that Calcutta.”
“You bet on this goon?”
“Hate to admit it.”
“You need your head soaked.”
“Belly! I’m heading for the clubhouse. Goofball’s going nowhere fast.”
“Twanging’s driving me crazy.”
“Bunch’a whiffs.”
“He’ll say waggling.”
“Last hole he had yips.”
“Ball’s out! He’s holed it!”
“Genius player!”
(c) Ann Isik 2013
100 words
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So many amazing and diverse ideas coming out of that one photo. Golfing clowns! That image is surely going to haunt me for a while. 🙂
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Yes, I’m always amazed at the range of stories that come out of these photo prompts. Sorry about the haunting. May they move on swiftly through the golfing ether to their next game! Ann
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I’m staying away from golf courses. 🙂
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Me, too! 🙂
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P S I can’t find your blog site. WordPress says you don’t exist! Ann
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That’s happened to me when I have tried to visit someone, sometimes it’s a follower.
I do exist Ann and just love visitors. Here’s my URL:
http://marysomnibus.com/
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Got you! Congratulations on your writing successes. If you really are ‘seriously seeking grannies’ then I don’t qualify as I’m not even a candidate for those ‘seriously seeking mummies’. I wonder what you are going to do with a collection of grannies, when you’ve amassed one. 🙂
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I did have an idea once that included a commune and an exchange of knitting patterns. I’ve given that up. One day I will change the name. Keep visiting. 🙂
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A commune and an exchange of knitting patterns. Glad that idea came to nothing. 🙂
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Thanks. (Although I’m still knitting. have any patterns you can share?)
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I knitted myself a jumper when I was 17. That’s so long ago the instructions included a bustle.
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Good one–and most time-appropriate with the US Open ending last night.
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I didn’t know that, believe me. I do not play golf. Though I may just have a go now. Anybody can hit a ball with a stick surely? 🙂
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Dear Ann,
I feel better only in the fact that I’m not the only one mystified by the dialogue. The mental image of these guys in golf outfits is entertaining. I’ve only recently made myself learn the terms bogey and birdie and what they mean. 😉
shalom,
Rochelle
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Yes, it was never going to make sense as a story on its own. I suppose it was an opportunity for me to experiment with specialist nomenclature. As part of a bigger story, it would work and be an extra texture. Thanks for reading. Ann
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I’d say fore (that’s the only golf lingo I know, but it sounds good)
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Fore: me too, hitherto. Thanks for reading, Bjorn. Ann
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I didn’t understand a word either. Game lingo is hard for the outside. I have two colleagues who play bridge and I never understand what they say either!
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A ‘secret’ language can be a good literary device. I’m thinking Harry Potter’s Parseltongue, for instance. Look how much money it made!
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Was wonderfully confused.
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Me too. Never played golf in my life! For a ‘boring’ to watch sport, (for me) I was astonished to discover such exotic nomenclature.
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I like the dialect.
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I’d never have associated golfing with such exotic language!
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I’m not a golfer and understood only some of the comments, but the ending was funny anyhow – so I’d call this a successful story!
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Thanks! I was interested also in that it might have shown how achievement is about not giving up and going for the impossible. The two golfers dialoguing were not centred on the game, but on beer and gambling and ‘rubbishing’ the golfer who achieved the impossible. Thanks for your kind comments. Ann 🙂
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The outfit makes me think of Bertie Wooster playing golf and I did recognize a good number of the terms, but I’m not a golfer, either.
janet
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Hi Janet. I was commenting on your story as you were commenting on mine! What synchronisation! I see what you mean about the Bertie Wooster connection. Golfing outfits ARE quite odd, aren’t they? The world of golfing is getting weirder by the minute. I should take it up – after all, many think of me an an ‘oddball’. Thanks for reading. Ann
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I played only once many years ago (except for a class in college.) Off the first tee, I drove the ball quite close to the hole–on the 18th! 🙂 I soon realized I’d just have to not worry too much and tried to relax. I did par one hole on the back nine, but that’s been it for me. Golf’s not really my sport. I played a LOT of fast pitch and then slow pitch softball, ran track, played volleyball, would have played hockey if they’d had girls’ hockey “back in the day” and, of course, ride. I might take up biking one of these days, too, as Bill bikes. But no golf.
janet
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I can follow some of your golfspeak now I’ve researched the language for this story – I know what ‘back nine’ means. I’ve done quite a bit of sports too ‘in my day’. I don’t know softball. I ran cross country and the half mile at school. I played hockey in goal for the county as well as school, and netball. I did ballroom and Latin American dance, ice dance, and used to run 5 miles a day at uni and play Badminton. Now I bike and walk and garden and sing (singing is an athletic activity, despite all the fat sopranos!). Rode a horse only once. Couldn’t get it to stop so I could open a gate! Like horses though. 🙂
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Laughing at the gate story. If you ride long enough, you always have lots of stories. I sing with the praise team at church and love it. I’m an alto and I realize I’ll never be a professional singer because my chest is much too small!!! 🙂
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Ha! ha! The chest of course is not everything! The anatomy, from the viewpoint of singing, is an interesting subject.I’ve read that Maria Callas’ voice suffered after she lost a lot of weight.
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I didn’t understand a word of it. But enjoyed reading it. Enjoyed the language. Like a poem.
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Thanks for reading Patrick. Yes, I saw the figure as a golfer and looked for some golfing vocabulary. As you see, golf-speak is quite bizarre. Decided to build a dialogue between two golfers. I have never played a game of golf in my life, so would not have understood a word of it either had I come across my story as a reader! A golfer might detect my golfing ignorance in this however. It was a good exercise. Ann
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Ann, what a whacky tale! Nicely done! – Amy
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Thank you.
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You are too funny! I could picture clowns on the course the whole time, and found myself wondering what each was wearing. Thanks for putting my link on.
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Welcome (re: link). The world is populated entirely by clowns. Didn’t you know? 🙂
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Thanks for the pingback sweetheart. I dig your story. Very much so.
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Thanks for reading and commenting. 🙂
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