Friday Fictioneers 100-Word Story Challenge: The Last Road Trip


Friday Fictioneers Photo Prompt for 1 March 2013  Home Made Car  Copyright Beth CarterEvery Friday authors from around the world gather at the virtual fireside of fellow blogger Rochelle Wisoff to share flash fiction stories of 100 words, all prompted by a common photograph, and exchange constructive criticism. Readers’ comments are also welcome.

This week’s photo prompt has been provided by Beth Carter whose blog Beth’s Banter is about writing, marketing, motherhood, timely topics and random thoughts. I write children’s picture books, women’s fiction, contemporary romance, romantic suspense, six-word memoirs, short stories and haiku. Beth took a first prize with this photo at the Ozarks Writers League photo contest in February. Congratulations!

Here’s the story that Beth’s photo inspired:

The Last Road Trip

Sure she breathes! Though it sounds like Siberian throat singing.
She’s just your everyday girl, though the boy next door avoids her.
Built her with my own hands, though I had to pay two men at night for some of her parts.

“I’m yours, baby,” sang Ray.
“Hotter than July,” sang Stevie.
“Let’s take the long way around the world,” sang Ronnie.
“Love at first sight,” they joked.
She fitted right in with those hot rods in Bonneville.

She took to disappearing. There’s news of a hit’n run.
We’re heading for the mountains:  me, her, Ray, Ronnie and Stevie.

(c) Ann Isik 2013
100 words

About AnnIsikArts

Artist/Writer, Proofreader/Copy Editor
This entry was posted in Dialogue, Short Story Writing, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

45 Responses to Friday Fictioneers 100-Word Story Challenge: The Last Road Trip

  1. yepiratehere says:

    Siberian throat singing! Brilliant! Nice road story..

    Like

  2. glossarch says:

    Nicely said, liked the personification of the car.

    Like

    • annisik51 says:

      Thank you Danny. And I hadn’t noticed, but as someone pointed out, your story has a bit of Good Will Hunting about it. I love that film/movie. It’s a rags-to-riches story with a difference and so is yours. Ann

      Like

  3. Several stories going with the “on-the run” theme. Fun flash fiction

    Like

  4. Parul says:

    your story has a surreal feel to it.
    Very nice and calming! 🙂
    I wish I could go on a holiday like that with the Rays, Rons and Steves of my life! 🙂

    Like

    • annisik51 says:

      Thanks for reading. It’s ‘The Last Road Trip’ (see title). ‘She’ – the car – isn’t coming back from it, since she went out one night and hit somebody and left them injured or worse, just drove off: hence ‘hit’n run'(hit and run). 🙂

      Like

  5. rich says:

    the first three lines all contain “though,” with a similar sentence structure. were you going for that repetition, or was that just a coincidence?

    well done, and good use of so much of the picture.

    Like

    • annisik51 says:

      Hi Rich. Thanks kindly for reading. Yes, on the repetition. It’s a literary device. If you’re going for emphasis, repeat a word three times. Can’t remember the source of that! It’s also a rhythm thing. Thanks as ever, for your trusty magnifying glass! Ann

      Like

  6. Beutiful poetic description. 🙂

    Like

  7. Intriguing story, though I’m still not still about whether I want to hear “Siberian throat singing.” Fun and expansive take on the prompt!

    Like

  8. Ann, this is such a lively and spirited kind of piece. I especially love the first two lines. Magnificent and memorable. Thanks for linking to me. I appreciate that! – Amy

    Like

  9. Sunshine says:

    i like your, “news of a hit’n run…” and i am guessing by your tags that those three were hit artists once upon a time. good story.

    Like

  10. tedstrutz says:

    Siberian throat singing… interesting. I like how you used the names on the sign, Ann… clever story.

    Like

  11. Dear Ann,
    I have to admit a bit of a disconnect. Was this story a reference to a particular song? In any case your MC sounds like a free spirit. Had to pay two men in the night for parts? Now that’s intriguing not matter what.
    Shalom,
    Rochelle

    Like

    • annisik51 says:

      Hi Rochelle. Thanks for reading. I did a bit of detective work for this one. The names on the cardboard sign I think are Ray Charles, Stevie Wonder and Ronnie Wislap. Each of their lines of dialogue is the title of one their songs. All were blind from birth or almost, so ‘love at first sight’ has to be a joke. I surmised that whoever built the the car played their music while he worked on it. The phone number’s Bill Wendt’s. He’s a hot rod star; he won a race or whatever at Bonneville. One of my tags is ‘Frankenstein’. Frankenstein’s creation went to the bad and ended up in the mountains. At one point he took refuge with a blind person and a little child. The blind person couldn’t see what he looked like. The child was too young to make evaluations. I can’t understand the pin-ups though. The car was built in the 21st century. The pin-ups look like 1950s girls; the coloured lass is demuredly dressed. Anyway, fantastic photo – best one yet for me, I think. Ann

      Like

  12. petrujviljoen says:

    Liked this a lot!

    Like

  13. Sandra says:

    I enjoyed this, well done.

    Like

  14. All that’s needed now is a dog named Boo. 🙂

    janet

    Like

  15. Really good stuff here! Love the feel and voice

    Like

  16. JackieP says:

    nice twisty story. I enjoyed it!

    Like

  17. elappleby says:

    Love the Siberian throat singing! A great story with plenty of spirit and a bit of a twist at the end. Really enjoyed this one (and thanks for mentioning my story in related articles – much appreciated!)

    Like

  18. Beth Carter says:

    Well done! Love how you incorporated the singers and what a great line: “…though it sounds like Siberian throat singing.” haha. I’ll definitely print this one out for the owner (once I locate him in Florida!)

    Like

    • annisik51 says:

      Let me know when you locate the owner. He or she will be interested to read all the stories your excellent photo of his/her car has generated, I’m sure. And I’d really like to know if it does sound like Siberian throat singing!

      Like

  19. Bee says:

    “She’s just your everyday girl, though the boy next door avoids her.” <— love, love, love this line!

    Like

  20. claireful says:

    That I still ‘sing with the boys’! Hah! No, far too old for that any more…

    Like

    • annisik51 says:

      Never too old! I’m 62 next month but last Christmas I made my solo debut singing Mozart’s Laudate Dominum. The doors were sealed in advance, of course, so the boys couldn’t escape.

      Like

  21. claireful says:

    Love this – that the car has her own spirit and despite her poor looks, both she and all the boys still sing.

    Like

    • annisik51 says:

      Thanks Claire, for your insightful comments. And you made me laugh as from your description, it may be unintentionally autobiographical. Just a bit! Or more than!

      Like

  22. N Filbert says:

    excellent – i was looking for a way to incorporate all the words present as well – good work

    Like

Share your light here:

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s